This is a special posting. It's kinda like when someone goes on Oprah to reveal a deep, dark secret, only it's in front of millions of people.
I'm getting a divorce. Yeah, for real this time. I'm going to be a single mother of 5!
As I was thinking about this life change, I first thought that this is yet another trailblazing area in my life. Then, looking over my friends and families relationships over the past 22 years, I realize that I am certainly not the first one to go through this, and I won't be the last.
After 18 years of marriage, 22 years total of togetherness and all that history, pulling away has felt like ripping apart vines that have become entangled as they grew together. I admit that all the times in the past when I desired divorce, just the thought of the pain of the entangled vines ripping apart was enough to turn me around to try and "make it work".
Maybe I'm stronger now, maybe it's my age. Maybe I'm in a better place with myself. All I know is that my life is worth living in joy, in happiness, in honesty, in fullfulment. Living my life in these principles honors my children more than staying in an unhappy marriage ever could.
I am grateful for my friends and family who are already supporting me through this, without judgement. They remind me to continue to love deeply, and that I am deeply loved, to know that I waited to separate until I had a "safe" space to do it in. When I feel guilt, they remind me that it serves no purpose. When I tell them I'm scared because I don't have a roadmap, they gently tell me that there is no roadmap, but I will still find my way.
Thanks for listening.
Mama Kim
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8 comments:
Well sister, I knew something very big was afoot because I've left you more than a few messages over the last months and you haven't returned my calls. Please know that I love you with all my heart and you and your children and family will be only stronger, because you will be happy. Continue to be well.
Mama Kim...I too, like Mango Mama knew something was brewing...that you needed space. What I didn't know is that you had crawled into a chrysalis to get peace, prayer and blessings...for now...and the future and to come out as a beautiful black butterfly. I love you...my sister...my friend...black butterfly..."tell your sons and daughters what the struggle brings fly Butterfly, set the skies on fire rise up even higher so the ages winds of time can catch your wings..."
sweet Kim- We are pulling for you!! We all have our struggles but you will find your way because you "love" love is the greatest gift! Know you are a gift and you give that gift to so many!
xo Donna
Kimmie, my love, you are in my thoughts and prayers. You will be fine, just fine. Five extraordinary lives came from your union, what a blessing! And so you give your thanks
and you move on, open to the new blessings to come...
its not the end of the world....its the beginning of a new one. it's time to take a deep breath of the new air that will surround you now that the old heavy air is finally allowed to escape, hold your head up and enjoy being free. you will soon find it amazing. love love love.
Greetings Beloved
I had a feeling something was going on I am here for you. I saw the word STRUGGLE in a couple of comments, SISTA THERE IS NO STRUGGLE only blessings, peace and love unconditional LOVE you are a wonderful SACRED WOMEN the Ancestors got your back just open your HEART/MIND and release all JUDGEMENT of yourself especially Kiss the kids for me I love you and I want to come see you as soon as you say its ok,
Asante Sana My Beloved Sista
Michelle
There must be thousands of thoughts running through your mind right now and the highs and lows must be immense but what I sense is the relief and the knowledge that you have made the right decision and that it is the right time. You are a strong woman and a lovingly, fierce mom to your 5 children and it is most important that you realized it was time for a change and you acted upon that desire to make it happen. take good care and hang in there.
Hi beautiful, just going through your posts and noticed this fascinating bit of reinvention. Now that you've survived and been just as amazing as ever, I wanted to tell you I adore you and I trust that your path, your joy, your love, and your passion are in your hands. Many peaceful blessings my dear friend. Love you!
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