Excuse me while I reinvent myself.

This is a special posting. It's kinda like when someone goes on Oprah to reveal a deep, dark secret, only it's in front of millions of people.

I'm getting a divorce. Yeah, for real this time. I'm going to be a single mother of 5!

As I was thinking about this life change, I first thought that this is yet another trailblazing area in my life. Then, looking over my friends and families relationships over the past 22 years, I realize that I am certainly not the first one to go through this, and I won't be the last.

After 18 years of marriage, 22 years total of togetherness and all that history, pulling away has felt like ripping apart vines that have become entangled as they grew together. I admit that all the times in the past when I desired divorce, just the thought of the pain of the entangled vines ripping apart was enough to turn me around to try and "make it work".

Maybe I'm stronger now, maybe it's my age. Maybe I'm in a better place with myself. All I know is that my life is worth living in joy, in happiness, in honesty, in fullfulment. Living my life in these principles honors my children more than staying in an unhappy marriage ever could.

I am grateful for my friends and family who are already supporting me through this, without judgement. They remind me to continue to love deeply, and that I am deeply loved, to know that I waited to separate until I had a "safe" space to do it in. When I feel guilt, they remind me that it serves no purpose. When I tell them I'm scared because I don't have a roadmap, they gently tell me that there is no roadmap, but I will still find my way.

Thanks for listening.

Mama Kim